Our Love Story - II (Trial and Error)

on our 2nd day, he chose our terms of endearment - "labs", which means "love". i could see that he's happy and excited. for me, it was just okay.

i was raised by strict parents. as much as possible, i avoided socializing with men. i didn't want to be close - emotionally and physically - to them. i am not demonstrative. i am a stiff person. i don't want to be vulnerable. i always contain myself in some kind of protective shell or wall. i limit people who can access my emotions. most of the times, i control my emotions. i don't want to show my affection. that's who and what i am.

on the other hand, he's a people-person. he has good sense of humor and easy to talk to. he gets along with people very well. he's very friendly - that sometimes other girls misinterpret his actions and think he likes them. he's very touchy, very open, very approachable.

we are very different - opposite. i needed to adjust and so was he. the men that i know never touched much more held my hand, while he used to hold hands with his girl friends. i wanted to loosen up, but he needed to be a little tight. i didn't want to see him holding hands with almost everyone. i didn't want to see him get very close to his girl friends. if he wanted to hug me and hold me, then he should stop hugging his other girl friends. i am a jealous person. i wanted him to give me a special treatment. if he wanted to get some from me, he needed to stop doing some for others. it might sound selfish, but that's the only way i knew would differentiate me from his other friends.

and it proved to be difficult.