Past Love

don't call me infidel. writing about someone you used to love does not mean you don't love or you're betraying your current flame. yes, it hurts, but looking back at the past makes me treasure my boyfriend (sir) more.

i consider him ("nod") my first love. we share a lot of things in common - quite, shy, dedicated. and we value relationships. i would like to think that we are both responsible. i fell for him unexpectedly. he left our place for 2 years, but i felt the same towards him when he returned.

before "sir" came into my life, i was praying for God to give "nod" to me. i believe we came to the point when we had an understanding that we both liked each other. i waited for him to court me, but he didn't. he was not prepared to have a girlfriend yet.

at that time, i was so eager to have my first serious relationship. he did not give me any promises - nothing to expect at all. so i realized, i had to move on. i could not wait for something i didn't even know would come.

i haven't completely forgotten him yet. there are times when i still dream of him, though not romantically. sometimes, i think there are a lot of "if" between us. if only i could go back, i would have explored our relationship more. but past is past, and my present is "sir".