Our Love Story - XI (Closure or New Chapter?)

after more than a year of self-imposed exile, i was excited to go home and attend our annual youth camp. i was physically and emotionally ready to meet everyone. i prepared for that moment - i gained weight and had fun with my life. i did not want to win him back. that time, all i wanted was closure - so i can forever leave that chapter behind. i was all set to let him go.

the events that followed were unexpected. the first instance the 3 of us were in the same room was very awkward. i pretended i did not notice them. of course, i did not want to create any conflict with the "girl". not to brag, but i knew how uncomfortable and uneasy she was with my presence - others called it insecurity.

i tried not to say anything and completely ignore them. i was succeeding, but the people around us tried to put us together - with "feelers" and teasing in the air. i tried to leave whenever he's around. again, i did not want to cause trouble in their relationship and in my name.

but he kept coming to me. maybe, replying to his SMS was my mistake. i should have not entertained his greetings. i should have not answered his questions. i should have not done this and that. but it's late.

everytime we exchanged messages, a part of me opened up for him - some of the feelings started to build again. still, i did not want to be the woman to break them apart. so i constantly reminded him that he had a girlfriend - that it's not proper; that i didn't want to be the "other woman".

i wanted him to think about what he really wanted. i wanted him and her to be happy. i did not want them to be in a relationship just because they need to be in that relationship. i wanted them to really love each other if they were to stay in that relationship.

until i found out they broke up. i felt guilty! i was thinking, was it my fault? was it because i went home? was it because i communicated with him? was it because i provoked him to break up with her? but, he was old enough to decide for himself. the other part in me was telling me it was not my fault. i even did them a favor. i set them free - he didn't have to stay in the relationship if she didn't love the girl anymore; and she didn't have to stay with him who did not really love her.